Under the gay-dome

www.fckh8.com

11.11.

Ayer por la noche, exactamente esta mañana en realidad, muy muy temprano, cedí.

Intenté no dar a ceder, seguir siendo terco y algo orgulloso. Había sido exitoso en no darle lo que quería de mí, eso duró más de un mes. Había sido exitoso calentándolo indirectamente, y por eso estaba contento. Había sido exitoso en hacerlo pensar en mí, porque yo seguí pensando en él.

Mi única condición era que comenzara a hacer un verdadero esfuerzo; estoy dispuesto a perdonar y olvidar, a seguir adelante, únicamente si él empieza a hacer un verdadero esfuerzo.

Dejemos que el tiempo vuelva a correr. 

Indeed summertime sadness

LANA DEL REY, Summertime Sadness

I do not own this video

Random summer

Photographed by Miguel Angel Ramírez.

Leuven, Belgium, July 2013.

00 [ Project underway ]

Last thought in my head was about him. I was so sure he would come and pick me up. Everything would be alright. He would come for me and everything would be forgotten.

I was too overbearing last time. He doesn't know how to deal with stress, and I was a big bolting source of it.

I became what I don’t like in others, exactly what I push away. So damn him, he had a reason to turn his back on me and walk away.

An obsessive brat and an idolized asshole. Him and me. A perfect match.

The heart and the head will never see eye to eye.

My frustrations are his and his reasons I understand. I've denied it to myself for too long. My brain is thrusting me against the all-too-clear message, I miss him.

“Are you sure you’re ok? You seemed quite gone for a while.”

“Yes, I’m good. It was just weird. I knew it was too much, that’s why I stayed put and followed your directions” I was happy towards the end, visualizing him on his way to rescue me.

“Good. You’ve to control yourself next time.”

“I know. I’m feeling quite embarrassed. I am so sorry. Really I am.”

“Don’t worry. Just be more careful” he said with a big smile on his face.

“Thanks, Tom” I said finally.

It had been a wild night. Going everywhere just to forget and have a good time.

Silly me.

I’ve been travelling for too long. Not sure whether I’m still on a trip or not.

Written by M. Ramírez

Belgium Nov. 2013